Why am I ashamed that I had to have this surgery? Why am I not comfortable telling people that I had WLS? I am very open about my life and my choices, I don’t seek other’s approval nearly as much as some do, and I know I did the right thing for myself.
So what’s the hang up here?
I’ve been wrestling with this since before the surgery. I’ve told a few close friends and family, but I live my life out in the open, it’s one of my “trademarks” that I am very open about life and emotions—all except for WLS. I have no idea what I will tell people when they notice. And my time is running out. I’ll be back on the road pretty soon, and I’m already down 20 poundss, so it’s not too long before someone is going to say something (although they all swear they don’t realize I’ve put on 45 poundss in the last year so who knows.)
I’m very driven, very type-A, very goal-oriented. If I want something, I go after it with a single-mindedness and a sense of purpose that is hard to miss. But here’s the thing. I went after weight-loss with a vengeance too. I can’t tell you how many different things I’ve tried in the last 4 years. One month is was all Paleo (put on 10 poundss). Then it was all vegetarian (lost nothing). Then it was Fuhrman’s recommendations (blood sugar went up 20 points, lost nothing). Then it was everything in moderation, calories down to 1200 (lost nothing). On and on and on.
And then that very quest to reach my goals led me to WLS. So however I get there, I am (probably) going to hit my goal to lose weight. Mission Accomplished, right?
So why don’t I see it that way? Why am I ashamed that I have to admit I could not lose it on my own, and had to have surgery? Is it because I think it makes me come across as someone with no self-control? Trust me, I have self-control, that was not the issue. Is it because I think people will see me as a failure? Trust me, everyone who knows me professionally knows I am not a failure.
So what is it??
My husband had the best analogy today. He said to look at it as troubleshooting. That I kept trying this and that, and everything else, and I finally found something that looks like it will work. So take pride in your persistence, and in finding a solution and be happy. He’s totally right.
So why do I still feel ashamed that I had to have this surgery?
I know somebody else on here has to have gone through the same thing and come out on the winning side, and I would love to hear your experiences. Thanks in advance for helping me.